Welcome To Angst Festival 2006Angsty Haru
by Geo-tastic
Summary: Hary is upset because everyone makes fun him for being gay. Even though he's NOT! PLEASE r&r!


_Welcome to _

_Angst Festival 2006_

_You know something? You really want to know? This is mighty heavy stuff…well, it is for me. It weighs so heavily on my mind. If you knew me, you would know how unfair it is. I never asked for this abuse, and here I am, being the butt of every joke of the genre in the book. I hate it, and it depresses me. I want to blame him, him being Yuki, but I know I can't. It's my own damn fault. No one's but mine. _

_Everyone calls me… Gay. They say that I love guys and I act like a girl. I don't. Really. People just make it up and I…I…_

Large tears run down my face as I look in the mirror. I blush a dark red seeing myself cry. It look so strange. I look down at my black choker and silver chain with the cross; my favorite. Wristband, white wifebeater with black wings and black cargo pants… _I feel like such a fool!_ I take a deep breath, inhaling awkwardly. I reach up to my throat and finger the studded black leather choker. I grasp it firmly, hesitating only a moment before feeling a heavy tear land on my hand, ripping the necklace from my neck. I throw it to the floor, quickly pulling the chain from my neck as well. I stare down at the little sliver cross in my hand, gripping it so hard the tiny corners cut my palm. "Argh!" I throw that to the floor as well. I quickly wipe my hand on my shirt. In a furry, I quickly pull off the wristband, too. I turn to my dresser, wrenching open a drawer and spilling the contents to the floor. I scramble through the contents, wifebeaters, button up shirts, and miscellaneous shirts until I found a loose white one at the bottom of the pile. I shoved the drawer and the spilled contents under my bed, pulling off my current shirt and stuffing it under there, too. I pull on the shirt, stand up and undo my belt. It's black and leather. Studded. I shiver. Pulling off my pants, I sit on the edge of the bed breathing heavily for a moment in my boxers.

I stand once again and look in the mirror. Quickly, I make a dash for the bathroom. I turn on the water in the tub and duck my head underneath the water flow. I rinse out all the gel and hairspray I use every single day furiously out of my crazy colored hair and slam off the water. I breathe oddly again. From the tears. I find myself blushing again as I stand in front of the mirror and towel my hair dry, combing it down roughly. It looks…different to be like this. My bangs are really long, and I never noticed. They go to my ears. Good. They hide my eyes.

I exit the bathroom, feeling even more depressed. Quickly, I make for the living room, hoping no one is home besides me. I grab my back pack off the floor. I have homework. And some notes from friends- and sexist predators to read.

"Haru?"

I freeze. Mom.

"Yeah," I sniffle, even though I try not to.

"What happened to your hair?" she asks. I turn to her feigning a smile.

"Just washed it. Why?"

"It just looks different, that's all," she smiled happily. _Just like her. Oblivious to the situation._

"Oh. Is that all?" I feel as though I will snap in half from this fake smile plastered on my face.

"Yep!" she smiles broadly and walks into the kitchen.

"Uh!" I cry, the smile falling from my face as soon as the door's closed behind her and tears flowing from my face, not in tears, but streams down my face. I pick up my backpack. Also black. Like me. I drag to my room, shutting the door and dropping the bag. I drop to my knees heavily, bawling my damn eyes out into my hands. "Damn you, Yuki!! DAMN YOU!!!! It's not even your fault!" And suddenly, I want him to be there, to tell me that I'm not gay, just like he told me I wasn't really stupid…just because I'm a cow. "Yuki..." I feel the back of my hair, knowing very well the odd colors. I wish it would just go away. I want it to all go away. But it doesn't work that way. If it did, I would've been much happier by now.

I sit on the bed, only antagonizing myself because I open my black backpack at a turtle-like pace. I dump out the contents: jewelry I'd taken off during the process of past days, foot crumbs and wrappers, math book, love note from Rin…when were still together…and lots more notes from people. Basically, hate mail. I shove everything off my bed with a loud bang onto my floor, except the Rin note, which I place on the nightstand beside my bed and all the hate mail, which I leave on the bed in front of me.

I don't want to read it. Not really. But I do it anyway. _I deserve to be tortured._

I'm crying again as I read the first note. It says: _Haru- Hey, I saw you today in P.E. You seemed pretty happy when Nyomo came out of the locker room. I saw you check him out. You think he's hot? Yes? That's what I thought. You're disgusting. _

"That's not true…" I whispered quietly. "I didn't-"

The next note: _Hey gay-man!! How's it hangin? Who are you asking to the dance next month? Kioko? No, I know! Yuki Sohma, right? Ha! That adds incest to it all! What a good combination, don't you think? Mmmm…Yummy!_

I read the next 5 notes, receiving all types of insults. I cried myself to sleep. That's not unusual at all. Same with the fact that I don't sleep very well at all.

The next day at school, I wore my usual uniform. But this time, I wore my baggiest pants, no more tight stuff. I buttoned my shirt all the way and my tie all the way up. I skipped the furry hooded trench coat and went with nothing against the cold, slipping my feet into dress shoes; no boots. No black. My hair wasn't styled either. I felt sick to my stomach as I rode my bike to school, the only trace of my previous style of dress, the pegs on the back wheels and black and red handlebars and lettering on the shined chrome surface.

People stared at me all day long, whispering and snickering, pointing and laughing out loud, whereas others gasped in surprise. I received an extra large amount of hate notes in my locker today. I shoved them in my backpack and left school, same as ever when I rode my bike home, mentally cursing myself for…for…_living._

I got home, threw my bike over into the lawn and went in the house to my room. I dumped out my back pack on the bed and once again put the note from Rin on the dresser, homework on the floor, and hate notes on the bed. I laid them out and counted them as I changed out of my uniform to that plain loose t-shirt and boxers again and sat on the bed. I stared out reading my fresh batch of hate mail. 20 whole pieces of it.

After the 19th one, my heart ached and tears flowed down my face for the millionth time. I got up, not thinking and approached my closet. I swung the door open, reaching under a pile of blankets to grab the two things I hadn't touched in years. Harrio the stuffed cow. And my blanket. Not black. Green. I sat on the bed and cuddled Harrio, wondering what the hell I was doing, but the figuring that I really didn't care too much.

_My god. I am gay, aren't I! Aren't I??!!_

I wrapped myself in the worn green blanked and with shaky hands, picked up the last letter. Loud sobs wracked my chest, dreading what was in that neatly piece of folded white paper. It looked so happy, written in black ink. "Haru" it said on the outside.

I opened it and read it slowly.

_Haru, _

_What did you do? You look terrible. Please stop this. I know what everyone is doing to you. It's not fair, but not true. You can't let them do this to you!! You're not gay, and you and I both know that! Get back to normal and be happy again. Be yourself!!! _

I gaped at the paper. Who…?

_And remember, I will do anything for you. Keep that in mind, Haru. _

"Ah!" relief flooded my chest. And something else…

_Love, Yuki_

…hope.

"Yuki!!"

_**fine**_


End file.
